Sandwhat!!!

So the other day, we got into Tallahassee and, desperate for clothes (naked load-in is a no no), we set off for the laundry mat. Between the laundry and the grocery store was a cute little restaurant. The line was enormous, so we figured the food had to be good. John and I got salmon sandwiches and a bowl of chili to go. We went back to the laundry and sat down by the windows. John started to eat his chili, I ate half of my sandwich and then switched the laundry. Meanwhile a girl was painting holiday scenes on the windows. I got back to my sandwich and took a bite of the second half. Immediately I knew something was wrong. It kind of felt like I had bit a plastic fork and the tines were jabbing me. I spit the bite out and there was a huge beetle. I bit a beetle. A big black beetle. A BEETLE! A HUGE BEETLE...in my sandwich. I think he was long dead, because there was no squish, no movement and I didn't sever anything when I bit him. He was just pokey. Well, I'm lucky I didn't empty my stomach contents on the spot. I'm still not sure how I managed to avoid that. The beetle was so big that I looked around as if "where are the cameras?" I felt like "this can't possibly happen to real people, I'm on TV right?" You should have seen the look on John's face. He said I jumped a mile into the air. The girl who was painting the window looked in aghast.

I closed the box up and went next door to the restaurant. I waited in the line. And when I was about 4 people till the register a bus boy came by and asked if everything was ok. I opened the box and pointed. He said "Oh my god, you can just toss that, I'm sure they'll give you a refund." I said I'd prefer to hang on to it till the front of the line as it was more impressive in person. When I got the front, the girl at the register was appropriately appalled. She took it in the back and showed the kitchen and said she'd be happy to give me a refund, however she had to go get somebody to show her how. So she called one of the other girls over who asked if I was serious and rolled her eyes at me. WHAT!!!! I told her I was dead serious and I was trying to be nice because there was a whole line of people behind me who wouldn't want to know that I BIT A HUGE BEETLE!!!!! in my sandwich.

It looked just like this only the legs were curled in because it was dead. EWWW!